How we got here

My hubs and I met in 2008, just after I turned 40 and he turned 41. Things seemed perfect, we married within 6 months(I know, fast) and I went off bcp soon after. It was actually an IUD and had to have it removed and started first period of previous 15 years (had been on depo before IUD). Good news is I almost immediately lost 20 pounds. Bad news is my doctor suggested an RE after about 6 months given that I was 41. One IVF is covered in my state. The RE put us through some tests and scheduled an IVF for summer 2010, but then I got pregnant on my own.... and m/c three weeks later. I was crushed. Meanwhile RE was worried about my high FSH, told her sometimes the numbers were low but she said the insurance takes highest. Started reading a variety of blogs and forums, then got pregnant naturally again about one year after first but afraid to hope this time, and it was another early m/c.


RE did an AMH and it was too low and she said after 42 I had between 5% and 2% chance of success with ivf. She'd done the hysteroscopy and my ovaries were fine. I was so disappointed she was so quick to give up on us. I researched SARTs for my age and found CCRM in Lone Tree Colorado had way better stats for my age and had a Latina doctor. I generally only see female doctors, but finding Latinas is REALLY hard (maybe I should have gone into medicine!) only Lone Tree would be about $40k total plus lots of time off for travel and insurance would never cover another state and then I turned 44 and insurance for anything was not going to happen. My RE was really pushing DE but for a chosen donor it would be $40k again not possible.


As my hubs and I were both born outside US, I started researching other countries. Every site was pushing Czech big time and, not to sound anti but I am SUPER anti anything CZ. I just know too much, about how racist they are as a nation, that they have the WORST anti discrimination laws in all of Europe, that they are the only nation to voluntarily vote for communism (which does not surprise me as all Czechs in US I know who moved post communism are on welfare and free health insurance and refuse to pay for anything) I also know they smoke like chimneys and drink like fish, drinking more than ANY other European nation--which is saying something. That and CZ women have a high rate of kidnapping kids from US (against US and international law but they somehow get away with it) NO way was I having a CZ baby, I knew that loud and clear!!!! However, finding info on other nations was agonizing. Many many sites are go Czech or stay home (and honestly, I'd rather adopt).


So, I started looking into Cyprus, really great prices and travel there and Istanbul sounded wonderful, BUT no photos and they did not do all the testing I wanted of potential donors. They were the only place I saw advertising tandem, where they do IVF and DE all at once, sort of save money in case your eggs suck. They suggested a slew of tests to explore the reasons for the m/cs which my RE ordered but insurance did not cover (about $600, but was good to know).

I backed from Cyprus and, wonder of wonders found ivf.ca, a Canadian forum site with a few from US. I started reading their TONS of info on Mexico. I'd looked into a few places in Guadalajara but they were mostly going to Cancun. I knew the area (am mixed Mexican, look REALLY white) but had not stayed in Cancun since 1998. I have family fairly close, but not close enough for an easy visit and besides did not want to tell family given previous bad news. I found it really helpful to read so much from so many women who had been there. Which is a big reason I started this blog, to offer women closer option, particularly those who might have family that would be poorly treated in CZ due to skin color.


There are two clinics and I started with Fertility Center of Cancun (FCC) where most women were. They all had great things to say about Sheri, the patient facilitator there but I had poor experiences with her. She suggested a donor that looked like my twin and said we could save money as she had frozen eggs. Well as I am booking tickets, she is suddenly not available and does not have frozen eggs and she starts pushing another donor on me, really white and pretty and TALL (I am classic petite, thin and short), and Sheri would not budge and suddenly the price for tandem was twice what she originally quoted. By then even Cyprus was saying no to my own eggs and while it KILLED me and probably my husband as well (he says god made me beautiful, bless him but I know better) we went for full donor eggs while I started a personal prayer for cloning.

I started communicating with Tori Brown at Irega, and as both hubs and I were between jobs (which had me hyperventilating about money) we booked tickets. At first I was upset with Tori, she needed so many tests of us both and they had to be within 6 months of treatment, but she told me upfront and it did not change (as it had with Sheri). I even had to have my doctor exlain my Hep B results as I'd had the Hep B vaccine for travel, it was all in my record so the letter felt like overkill.

Choosing a donor was hard, I really wanted my blood type so hubs and I sat with a spreadsheet of 35 and narrowed on blood type and curly hair. He wanted really white skin (so funny as he is dark) and once we chose, it was one without a photo so we had it down to two when Tori sent a photo which we could only partially open on my laptop. I asked him, he said she looks pretty, and I set it up. Later, on iPad we could see full photo, and the full photo included her with a boy who had not been orinally visible and hubs swore he'd never seen the photo and never agreed to the donor as she was too Mexican. I swear, sometimes husbands resemble children. I mean, really, she looks almost exactly like my younger sister (who is darker but not dramatically so) but he was suddenly wanting whiter, too funny as there were plenty of white choices in my blood type and we'd narrowed it to two and she was one, sigh. He was all hands off in States, all, "I'll get more involved when the baby gets here" and suddenly in Mexico he's like nuts--what if they switch eggs or donor, we should do DNA (I pointed out we would have to trust the same clinic he was suddenly worried about to do her DNA).

Here is a photo of the waiting room in the clinic:

I think the real issue is this was his first visit to Mexico and I was in charge. I made hotel reservations, bargained with taxi drivers and chatted with Dra Mayra all in Spanish but when either I or the translator in the room offered full translation he said no. He did make it clear no multiples, as he didn't want three or four babies running around. I kept my mouth shut as I'd love twins! He really wanted to rent a car and I said no way! Really only crazy people rent cars here, the rental companies are awful and any accident will always go against a foreigner, but he said it was cause I did not trust him. But over all he was happy, loving the good tequila and the beach.

Here is a photo of the entry lobby of the hospital Galenia, where Irega is housed, the other clinic, Fertility Center of Cancun, which is right across the street, and of the pharmacy inside the hospital, right next to Irega: